The Unexpected

The Romeo of my college happened to be the best friend of the villain..Me…
Clouds, thunder, rain…everything came together. As this story is all about unexpected things…the rain also was unexpected.. Unexpectedly a weird thought of seeing my college girls getting wet and drenched unexpectedly in this unexpected rain came to my mind.. I have learnt in my lower primary classes decades ago, that water makes things wet.Yes it does dodo...my mind confirmed it... A 70mm smile came to my face... The adrenaline rushed.Rushed and rushed, not willing to settle down.

The only angel on my right shoulder , poked me and rung a bell “ ..Sinning..SINnnnn…It’s a SINnnnn…. “
But the devil on my left shoulder, whacked me and said.. “Rain… Wet..Babes….white chudidaar…yellow chudidaar….heavy rain….water …once in a life time opportunity… no tickets..Divyaa..Sandhayaa…Maria….Tracy…..”The devil on my head also said the same, so did the one on my ear, my eyes, my leg, my stomach, my chest , even the little asshole devil also made a tweaking noise..”Don’t miss it dear”....

I always respected the law of majority.. I shared my juicy thoughts with my fellow devils..my 8 friends standing right beside me.. all i could hear after that was a thunder right beside me.. in the nick of time the whole place was empty..all I could see was bags lying on the ground ..abandoned by their respective owners. Some even left their hall tickets behind. My friends have already reached the amphitheatre. I ran..Expectedly.. expecting big things..Expecting small things. Expecting medium things…..

Upon reaching the spot.. I swallowed a big gulp of air..an unexpected irony had crept in..a guy who ran with all his might to see the cuts and curves of his college chicks ends up in front of 8 macho men all wet, disappointed, with baring teeth, ready to deliver that deadly punch right on the bridge of my nose. There were no girls. Not even one. Being a part of that gang, my friends left me alone with a 5 to 10minutes nonstop abuse in the pouring rain. Heartbroken, I took refuge in the shade of the nearby tree and when the tiny mosquitoes started freaking out on me I thought I will go to my best friend’s house right beside my college and change. Knowing where he keeps his key, I reached for it and opened the door.. DAMN!!.. irony- part 2…unexpected things again-part infinity..

All I could see was my best buddy about to kiss his beautiful girly and there at that precise moment I opened the room.. Next thing I saw was a big bouquet of flower flying towards me, the flower vase followed.. Bang!! It hit its target.. and i lay on the ground..!!

The world at this time

Ever imagined what the people around the world will be doing now, right now..when i am scratching my head and writing this blog.

London-Thur 7.50 AM - haaaaa...Yawn...deep yawn... and sleep again..Early morning syndrome is visibile.Some people just managed to get up from the bed.. both eyes half open with a strong force pulling it downwards.. one hand scratching their ass and the other hand scratching their head. While some others would have already reached their destination and would be aiming at that hole in the urinal. Only a very few suceeds in hitting the target.The others just wet the wall.

Melbourne -Thur 5.45 PM - After office..hurray hurray..today is thursday..and tommorrow is friday.Its decision time here. Should i meet my girl...or should i meet my beer... The latter always wins. Smart guys always end up with a beer on the beach..with their girlies...

India -11.00 AM- Its office hours here. Majority of the population will be in front of thier office computers and files and monority in them will be working. Others will be pretending to work. Some others who are the "cut and right" type dont even pretend, they just sleep on their desk.

China - 1.35 PM-Its lunch time or post lunch time or just before lunch time for somepeople there. Whatever it is , this time their thoughts will be hovering around one thing. The food. The lunch they just had, they are having or they are about to have. For some its the PMS period (read Post Meal Syndrome and not Pre Menstural Syndrome), Heavy yawns will be highly visible in this part of the world at this point of time. Eyes drooping down syndrome can also be noticed.

Iraq-8.35AM - Home to office leaving time.They hug their loved ones and leave. In the background, you might frequently hear the sound of big blasts and guns.Never bother, its an everyday thing there.

Dubai-9.35AM - Early morning blues will be highly visible here as its the morning hours in the office.Employees getting pelted left right and center by their bosses in the nearby cubicles can be heard.The noise from the construction work will sooth your ears. Dint know eh, no crude oil is remaining there & they have realized that world cant run on palm oil.Hence tourisim.Underwater city, above water islands,sea on the atmosphere,upside down hotels,floating restraunts and flying ships will soon be visible.

Las Vegas - Wed 11.00PM- Yeah baby, casinos, babes,games,lights, beer,brandy ,bra,whisky,wines,women, Microminis and lingerie.These are common sights here and grey headed desps staring at them will be even more common. Its a paradise for aggresive playboys and a magnet for guys like me.. the humble losers. :--(

New York - Thur 2.30 AM -Snorrrr....Snorrrrrrrrr....Snorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr... Its not sleeping time there.. Its snorring time. The bid dady is sleeping. Cops and cocaine are on streets. Guns and girls would be silent. Near to every bed you can see some common sights. Am empty beer can, a half eaten half baked pizza slice,a panty and an underwear, a worn out condom (the number varies with the people in the bed ), a switched on television and an abandoned baseball glove.Couple of stinking socks is never a rare sight and rare smell.

I confess

I Confess that

I have given my dog milk mixed with whisky

I have tried reaching my nipples with the tongue
I have buried an egg to see if it grows
I hid my sister’s notebook under her bed
I have peeped into my bosses salary slip
I have looked at my best friend’s ass and imagined my pen’s cap in it
I have thrown my kitten up in the air to see if it lands in 4 feet
I bicycle through the road in front of the house of my secret crush to see her unders

I have shagged in front of a mirror

I have dug a hole in the tree to help the new branches pops out fast

I have injected a dead chicken with water

I have burried a coin to make more money
I have worn my undies the otherway round to my college