blah blah blah....

Why are the people who talk the most often the least respected? Why does a person's individuality measured by his/her talks rather than the actions? Why is a serious/reserved person earns more respect than the talkative one. For some these questions just don't make abt sense but for others it does make a lot of sense. Talkative character sketch is something which has been looked down right from the kindergarten classes of a kid.. A kid who is talkative is always in his teacher's bad books no matter if he is good at studies or extra ciriculars.. By the time the kid grows up in silence and start facing the world.. he sees that silence is indeed golden..but thn speech is equally gold.. i have decided next time i see a person who talks more..i will listen ..listen and then see his works.. and thn i will chose whether he deserves my respect or not.. for i am not ready to let him go off, just bcoz he talks a lot....

A cold search..

Being a very good guy, I almost fall into any sort of traps set up by girls. It has developed into a habit for the past few years…say 26yrsL..Whether it may be calling me up late night from the railway station asking for a pick up because she isn’t sure that she saw a Godzilla boarding the train or by saying that she doesn’t carry her cash on the days when she sees her neighbor’s dog lying in southwest direction., I am always there..
Through a deep rooted self diagnosis and a rare tantric self study, I was able to identify that this happens not just because of ignorance and innocence, which also has its due share in the events, but mainly because of one thing.. Desperation…aaaaahhh!!!! Not just the plane one, but the ready to erupt, high voltage, highly disruptive desperation.

Now I am here in the US, the land of opportunies, sky scrappers, most modern machines, ultra modern life style etc etc.. Yeah yeah I know, I am coming to that point…the 34-28-32 curves.. For an Indian who is not born in a metro, that will be considered as the 8th wonder of the world.. “Man such things exists eh!!!” This is the typical dialogues my friends back home crack when we watch a Hollywood movie.. Though they say that I am the one who the crack that dialogue the most.. I deny!!

But alas!! Here I am in the coldest month of the year.. minus 8 , minus 5… the only time minus part was removed by the weather authorities was when it stuck Zero. ((For my next sentence parental guidance is advised, if read by children below 18 or the “yuk that was gross” kind of girls and guys ) Here if i pee in the open air, before touching the ground, it gets frozen and at times I need to break it off part by part… and by the time i finish it, i will be turned into a snow man...well if not literally something like this would happen… and I expected to find the curves and the figures.. bull shit..!!. The only organ I can see of any human here is their eyes.. rest everything covered, even their toe. L by the time I make out that the person who was beside me is a guy or a girl, he/she would have passed by, forget checking out their figure. For the first 2 weeks I did check out …some 5-6 guys from behind, thinking they are babes…with long hair and a fully covered thermals… damn it..!!

The search of an innocent desperate soul continues in a -8 degree Celsius miles and miles away.

On that day...

Day of event -2nd October 2008

Importance of the day(for lesser updated souls) - Gandhi Jayanti

who is Gandhi ( again for the least updated souls) -Gandhi is the father of our Nation

What did he stand for (for the souls who are as good as dead) - Independence, Ahimsa,No corruption etc etc

Apart from wiping of crow shit and dusting of Gandhi statue by the "high interest volunteers" on that day, couple of more things are this day's speciality. One, people think about him(this is a once in a year activity) and second its a national holiday.

Scene 1
So on this Oct2, i woke up at 8 and after (or rather during) my compulsive morning chores i closed my eyes in deep meditation and made a decision, today i will be a proper Gandhian. I will think and act as that great soul did.

Scene 2
9.30 AM - Time to meet some friends..After dressing up i stood in front of the mirror and looked at myself and wondered. Can someone who is wearing a Puma Tshirt, Benneton Jeans and Reebok shoes exactly be a Gandhian. Well its all in the mind Putr..its all in the Mind.


Scene 3
I took my roomie's bike and half way through the journey, a great Indian cop waved his never ending arm . "STOP ..STOP Sir" came the first sentence ...the usual oneliners followed. "License , RC Book , Insurance ".With a Gandhian smile i showed him the papers. Then came the next question. Pollution control certificate..? Damn Damn! not again.I dint have it . And my facial expression made a faint smile on his face. I know what he was thinking that time " i gotch u kid, i got a prey" but my mind was saying "no man, not agian, this isnt the old kid"

Scene 4
He took my papers and walked towards the usual traffic police aid post. Having taken that journey many a time, this time i decided, i will not give him his usual quota."SO, now what" his next question. Gandhigiri putr Gandhigiri putr my mind whispered. I made it clear that i am not going to pay him. That faint smile again came to his face. He told in that case he will have to fine me and i need to pay Rs 300 at the local police station, and i raised my voice and with pride uttered the magical words "YES I WILL PAY THE FINE"

Scene5

He took out the receipt book and wrote the date , instantly and very naturally my hand reached the right pocket of my jeans. Took out my wallet and handed him a 100 rupee note. After getting his quota now there were no fine, no receipts, he let me ride free . I reached my friends, went to KFC, had a bite with a Coke, went for an English movie. Came back home and crashed...

The End

The Unexpected

The Romeo of my college happened to be the best friend of the villain..Me…
Clouds, thunder, rain…everything came together. As this story is all about unexpected things…the rain also was unexpected.. Unexpectedly a weird thought of seeing my college girls getting wet and drenched unexpectedly in this unexpected rain came to my mind.. I have learnt in my lower primary classes decades ago, that water makes things wet.Yes it does dodo...my mind confirmed it... A 70mm smile came to my face... The adrenaline rushed.Rushed and rushed, not willing to settle down.

The only angel on my right shoulder , poked me and rung a bell “ ..Sinning..SINnnnn…It’s a SINnnnn…. “
But the devil on my left shoulder, whacked me and said.. “Rain… Wet..Babes….white chudidaar…yellow chudidaar….heavy rain….water …once in a life time opportunity… no tickets..Divyaa..Sandhayaa…Maria….Tracy…..”The devil on my head also said the same, so did the one on my ear, my eyes, my leg, my stomach, my chest , even the little asshole devil also made a tweaking noise..”Don’t miss it dear”....

I always respected the law of majority.. I shared my juicy thoughts with my fellow devils..my 8 friends standing right beside me.. all i could hear after that was a thunder right beside me.. in the nick of time the whole place was empty..all I could see was bags lying on the ground ..abandoned by their respective owners. Some even left their hall tickets behind. My friends have already reached the amphitheatre. I ran..Expectedly.. expecting big things..Expecting small things. Expecting medium things…..

Upon reaching the spot.. I swallowed a big gulp of air..an unexpected irony had crept in..a guy who ran with all his might to see the cuts and curves of his college chicks ends up in front of 8 macho men all wet, disappointed, with baring teeth, ready to deliver that deadly punch right on the bridge of my nose. There were no girls. Not even one. Being a part of that gang, my friends left me alone with a 5 to 10minutes nonstop abuse in the pouring rain. Heartbroken, I took refuge in the shade of the nearby tree and when the tiny mosquitoes started freaking out on me I thought I will go to my best friend’s house right beside my college and change. Knowing where he keeps his key, I reached for it and opened the door.. DAMN!!.. irony- part 2…unexpected things again-part infinity..

All I could see was my best buddy about to kiss his beautiful girly and there at that precise moment I opened the room.. Next thing I saw was a big bouquet of flower flying towards me, the flower vase followed.. Bang!! It hit its target.. and i lay on the ground..!!

The world at this time

Ever imagined what the people around the world will be doing now, right now..when i am scratching my head and writing this blog.

London-Thur 7.50 AM - haaaaa...Yawn...deep yawn... and sleep again..Early morning syndrome is visibile.Some people just managed to get up from the bed.. both eyes half open with a strong force pulling it downwards.. one hand scratching their ass and the other hand scratching their head. While some others would have already reached their destination and would be aiming at that hole in the urinal. Only a very few suceeds in hitting the target.The others just wet the wall.

Melbourne -Thur 5.45 PM - After office..hurray hurray..today is thursday..and tommorrow is friday.Its decision time here. Should i meet my girl...or should i meet my beer... The latter always wins. Smart guys always end up with a beer on the beach..with their girlies...

India -11.00 AM- Its office hours here. Majority of the population will be in front of thier office computers and files and monority in them will be working. Others will be pretending to work. Some others who are the "cut and right" type dont even pretend, they just sleep on their desk.

China - 1.35 PM-Its lunch time or post lunch time or just before lunch time for somepeople there. Whatever it is , this time their thoughts will be hovering around one thing. The food. The lunch they just had, they are having or they are about to have. For some its the PMS period (read Post Meal Syndrome and not Pre Menstural Syndrome), Heavy yawns will be highly visible in this part of the world at this point of time. Eyes drooping down syndrome can also be noticed.

Iraq-8.35AM - Home to office leaving time.They hug their loved ones and leave. In the background, you might frequently hear the sound of big blasts and guns.Never bother, its an everyday thing there.

Dubai-9.35AM - Early morning blues will be highly visible here as its the morning hours in the office.Employees getting pelted left right and center by their bosses in the nearby cubicles can be heard.The noise from the construction work will sooth your ears. Dint know eh, no crude oil is remaining there & they have realized that world cant run on palm oil.Hence tourisim.Underwater city, above water islands,sea on the atmosphere,upside down hotels,floating restraunts and flying ships will soon be visible.

Las Vegas - Wed 11.00PM- Yeah baby, casinos, babes,games,lights, beer,brandy ,bra,whisky,wines,women, Microminis and lingerie.These are common sights here and grey headed desps staring at them will be even more common. Its a paradise for aggresive playboys and a magnet for guys like me.. the humble losers. :--(

New York - Thur 2.30 AM -Snorrrr....Snorrrrrrrrr....Snorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr... Its not sleeping time there.. Its snorring time. The bid dady is sleeping. Cops and cocaine are on streets. Guns and girls would be silent. Near to every bed you can see some common sights. Am empty beer can, a half eaten half baked pizza slice,a panty and an underwear, a worn out condom (the number varies with the people in the bed ), a switched on television and an abandoned baseball glove.Couple of stinking socks is never a rare sight and rare smell.

I confess

I Confess that

I have given my dog milk mixed with whisky

I have tried reaching my nipples with the tongue
I have buried an egg to see if it grows
I hid my sister’s notebook under her bed
I have peeped into my bosses salary slip
I have looked at my best friend’s ass and imagined my pen’s cap in it
I have thrown my kitten up in the air to see if it lands in 4 feet
I bicycle through the road in front of the house of my secret crush to see her unders

I have shagged in front of a mirror

I have dug a hole in the tree to help the new branches pops out fast

I have injected a dead chicken with water

I have burried a coin to make more money
I have worn my undies the otherway round to my college

Busy man.........

Too much time and too little things to do..yeah this might make some of your eyes roll..in this this era where multi tasking has crept into even our daily bathroom chores.. i clear my throat and say again... too much time and too little things to do...

Well if not for others..my current state of affairs is somewhat like this...this is how my weekends pass by..after around 14 rs of sleep i woke up at 1pm yesterday...ate..slept for around 3hrs more..ate..back to a 14hrs sleep...yeah the mathematics isnt accurate here..but i dont deny..watched TV at times.. but thats it...no more additions..these 3 things only...then it became today..cant actually say it as today..its yesterday in a different name.....

Now when i take an intervel..after my food and before my sleep..i lay back and take a list of "to do things"..nothing...absolutely nothing.wow god has created some people like this also..awesome..Now you will be thinking how my weekdays will be...well that goes like this...

I reach office by 9.have breakfast till 9.15...reach my desk... read the daily headlines...if there are interesting stuffs like a celeberaty caught with hidden cam or a politician involced in a rape case...or my fav team won the match..then i will read it..else will browse for the second online newspaper...after this being repeated for almost 5 newspapers...and after i am convinced to the core that i am an update man today..i will move on ..to read the reviews of friday releases...the amount of time taken for this is directly proportionate to the amount of movies released that friday..and inversely proportionate to the length of the scirt of my colleage who sits right beside me.....after this i check the emails...if there is no much action items for me for the day..i move to checking my official mails..(please note that the former was my personal emails)..by now it would be lunch time...with a happy face i rise from my chair..with the gestures of a tired man...i slowly push my body to my cafeteria...hog...come back to my chair...take some rest..thn i will work for an hour or so...after that a tea brake..by that time i will be tired..i go work again for 30 mins...and then i will leave.....

5 days like this..and here comes saturday and saturday.....